I bet the people who are celebrating and being insensitive about XXX death never actually seen somebody get murdered, Never seen a body full of life suddenly just drop, never seen a nigga filled with bullet holes, shaking and seizing up on the floor in a pool of his own blood.
instead of celebrating a man getting murdered like that you should be praying for his loved ones, praying for solution to all negativity in the world to be resolved and pray that the things he went through in his life doesn’t happen to anybody else. people aren’t born wanting to be evil, something makes them that way.
But most ya are dayroom and know nothing about the streets, no nothing about the PTSD, bi-polar disorders, and all the other mental problems us young black men from the hood deal with.
That nigga done some evil shit i’m not defending that but he was trying to change his life and do more positive. ya celebrating a man getting murdered like that makes you just as evil.
This sounds weird, but sometimes I wish I could just fully believe my paranoid thoughts abt people not liking me.
But like I’m right in the middle where I can tell myself that I’m over analyzing everything, and that people aren’t avoiding me on purpose but that they’re genuinely busy, but I can’t actually get myself to believe it if that makes sense
Like if someone doesn’t make time for me, my thought process is:
1. They hate me and are trying to let me know they no longer want me in their life
2. No that’s not true!! They have their own lives and can’t just drop everything for me!
And then I try to make plans with them again but if for the second time they aren’t able to, for legitimate reasons, I go back to the “they hate me” thoughts but like twice as hard
i’ve been suicidal for so long that i’ve just been assuming i wouldn’t live even as long as i have so i never thought about anything long term and now i have no idea what i’m going to do and i’m more afraid to live than i ever was to die
